Dangerously Stupid Zone

I recently read a blog post about choices we make.  I tend to see things in white (good)/ black (bad) and not really gray (middle).  To me the gray area of a choice is more for cowards who tend to sit on the fence and don't really want to commit to a side.  Don't get me wrong I have been gray plenty of times in my life but as I have come to know and love myself better, I see life more in black and white and not so much gray.  I guess it is also because with this new found knowledge and self love come confidence, bravery, and courage to be able to take a stand for the things I believe in.  When we sit on the fence (which is gray) we put ourselves in what can be termed the "Dangerously Stupid Zone!"  We are then tempted, persuaded, pushed, or bullied into choosing a side which we may not be comfortable with but are not strong or brave enough to stand up and walk away from.  Thus we fall circumstance to the consquences of the choices of the side we were persuaded to stand with and become a victim to our own stupidity.  I see this everyday with the teens I work with at church.  If they could only see the strength and feel the love I have for them, they would be unstoppable at anything they CHOOSE to do.  So what about you?  Do you have things in your life that you are sitting on the fence about?  This is what I have been contemplating this week and praying to be brought to light in my life so I can choose a side.  I found this picture that sort of put it into perspective for me.  As I make a choice I stop to think...on which side does my choice tip the scales - for the good of my Savior or against Him?  I always want it to be for the good, I do not want to ever cause Him anymore pain.  He has shed so many drops of his own blood for me already.  It only takes a moment to stop and think before I act/choose.  Our Savior, Jesus Christ is always fighting for the good of our souls, he never stops, sleeps, or quits loving us.  He only joins His strength to ours and ensures us success as we focus on Him and becoming like Him.  I leave you with some of my favorite words from Him whom I love most, the #1 man in my life:

John 16:33

"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace.  In the world ye shall have tribultaion:  but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

                

Whacked It All Off

Our church sponsored a youth conference this last Friday  for about 500 youth ranging from 14-18.  I was a chaperone for the dance that night.  As I sat their watching all these teens have a great time it hit me that I have the same type hairstyle as most of the teen girls in that room.  My hair is half way down my back and all one length.  I basically have two styles...ponytail/pull it up or leave it straight.  At that moment I felt really out of place like I was trying to lay seige upon my youth instead of embracing the fact that my life is half way over and I am a grown adult woman. 

So last night I walked into Walmart to buy some groceries and the hair salon inside the store was empty so I rushed in before I lost my nerve and whacked it all off.  See Below

Do I like it?  Well I have mixed emotions but what I do like is that I now look more my age and not like I am trying to look forever young!

Winds of Change

So lately I have been craving a change...some sort of change, which is very unusual for me because I tend to like to be able to control things because then I have no surprises and I can count on everything to run smoothly just like it always does.  So this craving for a change is sorta throwing me off, and I have no inkling as to where or what I want changed.  Maybe it is just a sign of growth within myself that I can handle new and unexpected things with more maturity and sophistication?? 

I read an article last night about finding happiness with what you have and not getting so caught up looking at the things your friends and family possess.  This woman said she was so caught up in wanting a huge house like her friend that she was completely missing out on enjoying the lovely home she had until she heard her friend complaining and saying how when she had a bigger home she would finally be content and happy. 

This article really got me to thinking...am I missing out in everyday happiness because I am too caught up in when I find a husband, when I can afford to vacation on a tropical island, when I have a new SUV, when, when, when...?????  I just want to yell - STOP THE INSANITY!!!  It is time to get out my grateful clicker (via Hilary Weeks - www.billionclicks.org happiness is a click away) and see, really see all the wonderful people and blessings in my life right now.  I don't want to miss another minute of seeing the hand of God in my life and as I look for the good, I not only find happiness, but I see his love for me in all things.  Want to change your life and find happiness starting today...start clicking!  It becomes addicting and every time I get grouchy I just pull out my clicker and smile...click, click, click!!!

Broke, Broke, and Broke!

I haven't posted lately because my camera broke and since I am broke...I don't forsee a new one anytime soon.  Especially with school coming up so fast and having to buy all the supplies and new clothes for the kids.  So I guess fashion is out and you are just stuck with my wonderfully boring life!  (After the drama of my last marriage...boring and secure sound heavenly!!)

I had a mucho relaxing weeking.  Got to take Friday off and spend it with James since my mom had jury duty and my dad was tearing out their bedroom floor and closets (termites...hate those lil buggars!!)  Why is it that on the one day off when I can sleep in I am up at 6:30 and can't go back to sleep.  So I got alot of much needed cleaning done before James awoke.  He is so snuggly in the mornings and as I was holding him he started singing,"Morning bells are ringing, ding, ding, dong."  Then he looks at me with his devilish smile and says, "Mom, my morning bells are ringing", and he farts on me several times.  I actually had to laugh...my morning bells are ringing.  Where does this kid come up with this stuff?  He must get that from his dad!! 

Saturday, I went to a 30 and older singles conference at my church.  I learned to line dance - The Electric Slide.  Just in case you were wondering... no I didn't meet any elligible men, the single men who came  were 50 and older but they were nice and we all had alot of fun. 


I have been feeling the need to take some college classes and start working towards my degree again.  But I am broke...broke on money and time.  Geez, my day starts at 4:30 am and I usually try to get to sleep by 10 pm.  I also feel guilty because I need to do more for others like visiting my grandma, donating to charities, and service projects.  So my friend Virginia had me take this quiz about how I am spending my time.  It was enlightening...I am going to share with you!!

Write down everything you did last week:
ate, slept, exercise-Jazzercise, listened to 2 books while working and driving, went to a singles conference, bore my testimony, planned upcoming Young Women's Activities, worked on Girl's Camp items needed, read scriptures, prayed, played with James and read him stories, gardening, got revelations, washed clothes, cleaned house and car, worked tried to overcome the natural man, had my testimony of Savior strenghtened from the help I received, repented, memorized a scripture, sang songs, vacuumed, did service, shopped, dwelt on being mad, visited with Grandma, emailed, looked at my favorite blogs, facebooked and went to church.

List 5 Lifetime Goals:
Temple Marriage, Becoming Charitable, Successful parent with children who have strong testimonies of Christ, Serve a Mission, be General Young Women's President.

List 5 Yearly Goals:
Go to temple every other month, work/learn how to make partaking of the sacrament a spiritual experience, budget better-curb my shopping habits, Lose weight, and work on being meek, humble and putting off the natural man.

Write down 5 things you would do if you had 6 months to live (sort of like a bucket list):
Go to the Temple weekly, Make a Dvd for my kids professing my love, family history work, write my life history, and spend every minute with my children and family.

Write down what you would do if you were going to meet Christ in person in 30 minutes:
I would pray that I could look up and see him smile at me.

Last Challenge:

Now take all the things you did last week and see how they promote your lifetime goals, yearly goals, and how they affect your life if you had 6 months to live and if you had 30 minutes before you met Jesus.  This activity will help to weed out the non priority activities in our lives.

Fresh Hot Bread

I am so excited!!!  I just bought a bread maker for $10 at one of my favorite thrift shops.  The sales clerk and I plugged it in and it works!! She even commented on how it looks brand new and unused.  Hurray for me...why???  Well last month at Relief Society we had a potluck with the instructions we had to make and bring something using our food storage items.  Kassie Rogers brought this wonderful wheat bread.  I have never in my life made bread...store bought is running through my veins.  I know...my poor deprived children!!  Kassie said she just throws all the ingredients into her bread machine and then puts the dough into pans and bakes.  It really was the best bread I have ever tasted!!  She suggested that I look for one during my thrift store romps.  I took her advice and now I can make bread - cooking has never been one of my specialities.  I am trying to find some really great recipes to master - fortunately there are recipes with pictures so I can tell if I am doing it right!

This weekend we are going to have fresh home-made bread!  And if I am really ambitious I might even have my mom or sister teach me how to make the freezer jelly everyone is raving about.  Geez, sometimes I think I am in my own little world - an alternate reality...freezer jelly.  Who woulda thunk???

Here is my first and second attempt:

So remember, I never said I was a domestic goddess!!  I am not sure what happened...I took it out of the bread machine and placed it in the pan and it rose up all nice and pretty until James touched the first one and it fell.  The second one though fell during cooking.  I am going to try my mom's recipe, this one just doesn't work for me...yeah that's it!!!  However, the bread tasted fine, my daughter's friend Andi loved it.  Hunter has to take the Sacrament Bread for church all month in July so I have one and half weeks to get it perfect!

Pick It Up & Get Moving!

So this morning I am fighting off the urge to skip the gym and just keep sleeping.  I finally dragged myself up, read my scriptures, and headed out the door feeling pretty cute in my bright red work out shirt.  It was arm day so I did my usual 15 minutes on the stair climber to get my heart rate up and then worked out my arms till they felt like were going to fall off.  Then I headed upstairs to run for 20 minutes.  I love running...actual running - never on a treadmill!  So I am going at a slow pace running a mile (9 laps at the fitness center track - working up to 2 miles).  When this older (70's) gentleman about 6'3 to 6'5 catches up to me and he is walking a brisk walk with his long legs.  I have my earphones and music on so I don't really pay to much attention as he is striding along at my side....when all a sudden, he interrupts my thoughts and says, "If you don't pick it up I will walk faster than you can run."  I must admit I was alittle taken aback by his brashness and tried to be friendly by explaining I was new and am working my way up to a faster pace.  He replied, "WELL PICK IT UP AND GET MOVING ALREADY!!  I was thinking...are you serious????  So I did what any kind human being would do in my situation...I RAMMED HIS SKINNY BUTT INTO THE GYM WALL!!    



 

  Just kidding - hahaha,  I picked up the pace and sped a good distance away from him,  wishing I had rammed him into the wall - people these days, can't a girl get a little RESPECT!! 

By the way Rachel at Pink Peonies is giving away a Fabulous Kelly Green Bag!!  To enter, click the link and follow the instructions.

http://www.thepinkpeonies.com/2012/06/giveaway.html

Divorce Sucks!!

Last night I went to a baseball game with my ex-husband and his family.  We are still good friends.  His other two boys are here visiting from Las Vegas, Dylan 8 and Anthony 6.  I was holding Dylan on my lap and Anthony was sitting next to me.  Dylan was asking if I remembered when they used to live with me and bringing up memories he had with me and my own kids.  I told him I still remember and will never forget!  He said you will always be my step mom and Anthony said, "She isn't our step mom anymore."  To which Dylan raised his cute little voice and said, "YES SHE IS!!"  I quicky assured him I still am.

Although I know Hector and I made the right choice to divorce, it kills my heart that I lost Dylan and Anthony too.  And then to see the my son James having such a wonderful time with his brothers and knowing it will end in a few days...really sucks!!

I am grateful for the knowledge and assurance I have received that one day I will have an eternal marriage.  I know that with work, sacrifice, and love my future marriage will never end....I just haven't met him yet.  (I love Michael Buble, I swear that song is my theme song.)

Sweater:  Thrifted $2.00, Button Up:  Thrifted $2.00
Skinny Jeans:  thrifted $5.99

 

Purse :  Thrifted $1.50, Shoes:  Payless $27.99

I have to admit...I am LOVING these kelly green skinny jeans.  They are my first pair and now the question is do I really want to pay full price to get more colors???